


Body of Darkness (Mind of Light)

by wakeupstiles



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Major character death - Freeform, Tragedy, but im proud of it and myself, enjoy and cry, listen this doesnt end happy, raven saves the world basically, s3 ending my way, takes place in the col
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 14:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6380740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakeupstiles/pseuds/wakeupstiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hero saves the day and usually always dies at the end of the story. Raven was young; she had a lot of story left to tell. Raven wasn’t a hero; she just knew when to do the right thing. As it was, the world had a cruel way of laughing at her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Body of Darkness (Mind of Light)

**Author's Note:**

> two tragic octaven fics in one day hot damn i need to be stopped lmfao

_Why do I always get myself in these messes?_

_Oh, because I’m the only one that can fix this shit._

_I mean, it’s not like I’m opposed the saving the world—I just never figured it would be me._

_Genius? Yes._

_Hero? No._

She’d had conversations like that in her head over and over again the past few days during the trek to ALIE’s mansion. Bellamy, Monty, Miller, and a few others accompanied her there while Clarke stayed in Arkadia, distracting ALIE and helping Abby get the rest of the chips out of the others. Raven’s had been deactivated when she remembered Octavia, quite literally the love of her life. Removing it was a bitch, and painful, but felt like freedom.

They’d made the plan a few days ago. It was rushed, had a lot of kinks in it, and wouldn’t be easy. Hell, Raven didn’t even know if it would work, but they had to try. She had to try.

As they neared the white mansion Raven thought back to the events that led her to this fate.

 

* * *

 

 

_“The way I see it, the only way we’re going to be able to truly stop this AI bitch is to kill her from the inside.”_ Raven said, glaring down at the schematics of ALIE’s mansion, holding her forehead in her hands in attempts to will away the oncoming headache.

_“Okay, but how the hell do we do that?”_ Bellamy asked.

Raven stared down at the paper, looked at the basement where the City of Light entrance was located. Surely if there was a way to access the place from the outside there would be a way to access it from the inside, too. She shut her eyes, glaring at the darkness behind her lids. Then, slowly, she opened her eyes and her heart did a little blip. She knew what she had to do.

She explained her plan to her friends as best she could, using simple small words instead of the scientific terms. They weren’t stupid but they were no rocket scientists and she didn’t want to confuse them anymore than they probably already were.

_“Basically, someone goes in and blows the damn place up from the inside. It goes boom and disappears.”_ She said simply.

Clarke raised a confused brow. _“But can’t we just blow it up from the outside? It’d still be gone, then, too.”_

Raven nodded and shook her head. _“Yeah, but it would still exist, technically. You said there were two entrances. One in Polis and the main one in her mansion. Now that ALIE knows about the Polis entrance…”_

_“She could still access our world from it.”_ Bellamy finished, catching on quickly.

The brunette woman smacked her palm on the table and gave a curt nod. _“Exactly. So we blow it up from the inside and that bitch won’t be able to come back. She won’t exist anymore.”_

_"Great plan.”_ Miller said from the other side of the room. _“But who the hell is going to go in there and get blown up?”_

The room grew silent. No one looked at each other. Raven bit her tongue, took a deep breath. No one said it, but it was her. No one wanted to die. But this was war and this was Raven’s plan. She would do it. She had to. It was her job.

Raven looked up at everyone, eyes hooded in darkness. _“I will.”_

The room went into an uproar.

 

* * *

 

 

And now there she was, standing outside the mansion, heart nearly exploding inside her chest. Her palms were sweaty and for the first time since she came up with the plan, she was nervous. So incredibly nervous and scared. Terrified, even. She was walking to her death, after all. She had every right to want to piss her pants.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Bellamy questioned as he stepped up beside the woman.

She swallowed down the lump in her throat, gave him a little smile. “Hurry up and save the world, right?” She asked humorlessly.

He looked down at her, eyebrows furrowed. “Raven, you don’t—“

“Don’t.” She said sternly, grabbing his hand and giving it a firm squeeze. “Don’t.” She repeated, softer, pleading. If he started saying nice things then she would start crying and if she started crying and letting everything fall out of her then she might change her mind and she couldn’t do that. Clarke and the others were doing everything they could back in Arkadia to keep that AI asshole preoccupied; Raven couldn’t choke now.

She looked up at the sky, saw a bright blue butterfly flutter across her vision. Raven smiled slightly. “You gotta tell Octavia something for me.”

“Anything.”

“Tell her I love her. And that I’m sorry.”

Then she walked into the mansion before Bellamy or any of the others could say anything else. She made her way down to the basement, saw the large oval like portal waiting for her in the middle of the room, glowing an opaque blue in the middle, inviting her to pass through. Raven took a deep breath, gripped the straps of her backpack tightly, then stepped through the blue swirling matter and entered the City of Light.

It was…different than she imagined. Since ALIE was all war and destruction she imagined that the City would be a disastrous place; she’d never actually seen the place when the chip was controlling her. She only felt its side effects; no pain, happiness, memory loss. But this…standing in the middle of what looked like a city; tall buildings, a pretty cement water fountain in the middle of the whole thing, trees on the sidelines, it was beautiful and it made her never want to leave.

But she had to and she knew this place was not as glorious as it appeared to be.

“Right, hurry up and save the world…” She mumbled to herself, then began walking, but stopped when she got to the bottom of the stairs because _where the fuck is the power source?_

Okay…so she didn’t think this whole plan through. She had it all planned out until this point. Now…she had no fucking idea what she was going to do but she knew she’d better figure it out fast. There was only so much time she had before ALIE showed up and turned her plans to shit.

_Think, Reyes, think._ She bit her lip, closing her eyes and wracking her brain for the answers.

“Raven?” Her eyes popped open at a familiar voice. Standing a few feet in front of her, a few scratches on his face and clothes torn, was Jasper. “Oh my god!” He gasped and ran towards her, pulled her into his arms and squeezed her tightly.

“Jasper!” She finally choked out after several seconds of silence, her voice full of tears and regret. She’d gotten him to take the chip. She’d gotten him to enter the City of Light. And she’d gotten him killed before Abby could save him.

They pulled apart and Raven let a few tears slip down her cheeks. She gave Jasper a small smile. “Monty wanted me to tell you that he’s sorry.”

He gave a little nod. “I know he is. I forgive him. And I’m sorry for the way I treated him.”

Raven shifted her head to the side, gripped his arms tightly. “I wish you could tell him that.”

“I wish I could, too.” He mumbled, squeezing her arms back.

The woman gave a little shrug, a soft smile. “Maybe he knows.”

Jasper nodded, rubbed his arm over his eyes, gave a weak smile. “I hope he does.” Then he furrowed his brows and asked, “Wait, you’re not dead, are you?”

She shook her head. “I’m here to shut this place down.”

His eyes lit up. “Oh…” But before he could say anything else, a mob of nicely dressed men ran around a close corner and came charging at them.

“Who are those people?” She asked, her voice rising with panic, her eyes as wide as saucers in fear.

Jasper grabbed Raven’s hand and began pulling her up the stairs. “Some really pissed off people created by ALIE to keep us in here.”

“What do we do?” She questioned, her heart falling into her stomach.

He looked from the men in suits to her, eyes wide, and shouted, “Run!” Then yanked her up the stairs and didn’t stop despite them tripping several times. Luckily in the City of Hell, Raven’s leg didn’t bother her nearly as much. The pain was there but extremely dull, which helped since she was now running for her life.

They made it to the top of the stairs but just barely. One of the men grabbed Raven’s ankle and yanked her back, causing her to fall on her stomach and smack her chin on the concrete. She groaned in pain as he began pulling her down the stairs. So even in this “peaceful place” you still felt pain. ALIE was so full of shit Raven wanted to bury her.

If she could find the goddamn power source she was.

Jasper tried reaching for her, tried kicking the man away, but another one grabbed him around the neck and began choking the boy. Raven tried to kick the man holding off but it was no use; the AI was strong and she was no match.

But then a woman jolted from behind a nearby building and like a flash she was chopping away at the suited men, their artificial blood splattering everywhere, their fake limbs falling on the concrete and disappearing, leaving an outline of blood in their wake.

Arms were around Raven’s waist, pulling her to her feet. “Octavia,” She whispered out of breath, her dark eyes meeting light blue ones. Her girlfriend smiled, then shoved Raven into Jasper’s arms and continued slashing away at the nicely dressed men. “What the hell are you doing here?” Raven asked in bewilderment and confusion; the woman was supposed to be in Polis with Lincoln and Indra, helping Ontari with the new title of Commander and making sure no rogue Grounders took out the Sky People.

The tanned brunette turned to her girlfriend and gave her a cocky grin. “You didn’t think I was going to let you do this alone, did you?”

_“Octavia,”_ Raven hissed, ducking as her girlfriend swung her machete and sliced right through another AI behind her and Jasper. He was the last one, and once he was gone Octavia grabbed the dark skinned woman into her arms, giving her a tight hug.

When she pulled away she gave Raven a sweet smile and said, “Hey, we’re in this together.” Then she turned and gave her lost friend a hug, too. “Now let’s go find that power source.”

Raven shook her head and slumped her shoulders. “I have no idea where it is and we can’t search this whole damn city—“ She held her arms out wide, gesturing to the large landscape. She turned around, looking down the stairs where she’d started and saw more men running towards them from across the way. “Especially with those assholes chasing us.” She sighed tiredly.

But just as the trio was about to run, several arrows descended from above them and landed in the men’s chests, causing them to lurch backwards and disappear a few seconds later. They whipped their heads around, saw two Grounder women jump off the roof of the building closest to them and run in their direction.

“What the hell…” Raven trailed off, confusion wrapping itself around her already fried brain. Anya propelled several more arrows while Lexa and Octavia jumped down the stairs—literally jumped down several hundred stairs—and being slicing their way through a bunch of AI’s.

They were covered in crimson when they came back up, neither out of breath yet still looking exhausted from the fighting. Lexa approached Raven, who instinctively took a few steps back. Octavia and Jasper flanked either side of her, though grateful for hers and Anya’s help, still not trusting either of the women.

The previous Commander looked the mechanic straight in the eyes and said, “We will take you to the power source.” Then began walking alongside Anya in the direction they’d come from.

Raven and Octavia looked to each other, then to Jasper, and shrugged. They followed behind the two Grounder women, being sure to keep their distance, but making sure to stay close in case of another attack.

They walked in silence; well, Raven did. Octavia and Jasper spoke quietly amungst each other, and no one could hear if Anya and Lexa were talking. Finally, as the question was eating away at her, Raven asked, “How did you get here?”

Octavia shrugged, answered without looking at her. “The Polis entrance.”

“Who told you about my plans?”

“Sure as hell wasn’t you.” She snapped under her breath. Raven said nothing, figuring she deserved that. “Clarke.” She finally answered with disdain deep in her tone. She was still pissed at her for everything, but with Raven gone…when Raven was gone they would grow closer. At least, she hoped they would.

“Goddamn it.” Raven sighed, rubbing her temples.

Octavia grabbed one of Raven’s hands, looped their fingers together. “She wanted me to come with you to make sure that you didn’t run into trouble.”

She was grateful Octavia was there, really, she was. She knew why Clarke told her to come, and it wasn’t because she needed _protection._ Okay, maybe she needed it a little, but the blonde mostly told Octavia to come so that she could _say goodbye._ Raven hated goodbyes, which was why she never told Octavia of her plans to come to the City of Light and…

Lexa and Anya led them to the tallest building in the City, watched intently for AI’s while they ascended the stairs to the very top to where the power source was located. Raven dropped to her knees in front of the machine, took the front panel off and got to work on the colorful wires. She knew what she was doing, mostly, everything else was just a guessing game.

_Red wire…blue wire…snap, tie, strip, twist, twine, yank out completely…_

It took her fifteen minutes until she was sure the wires were ready. All she had to do was touch the red and blue wires to the yellow and orange, twist them together, cut a few more wires, flip a few more switches on the inside, press the large infinity symbol button, and then bye bye City of Evil.

And bye bye Little Bird.

“Okay, you did your thing, now let’s go.” Octavia prompted, grabbing Raven’s arm and yanking her up, though Raven wouldn’t budge.

Raven shook her head. “I can’t.” She said softly.

“What? Why not?” Her girlfriend’s voice rose a few octaves in fear.

She looked up at her, eyes burning with tears. “I have to stay here. I have to make sure the plan works.”

Octavia let go of her arm, backed up at little, total shock on her face. “You…you knew you were going to die all along.” She stated lowly, pressing her hands to her face and giving a violent shake. Lexa, Anya, and Jasper stayed silent, watching the scene unfold from across the room.

The dark skinned woman gave a little nod. “That was the plan.”

“Well it’s a shit plan!” She lashed out angrily, throwing her hands up in the air and shaking them.

Raven stood, walked up to her girlfriend and grabbed her hands, gave her a sad smile. “Octavia, you have to go. Go back through the Polis portal.”

“You come back with me.” She pleaded. “Anya and Lexa can do it.”

She shook her head. “No, they can’t. It would take me too long to explain and we don’t have that amount of time.”

“Well what about Jasper?”

“He’s smart, but he can’t do this.”

“Wow, thanks Raven.” The boy muttered, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes, though he was crying.

“Fucking Christ, Raven.” Octavia pulled her hands from Raven’s, turned and combed her hands through her braided hair. She bawled her fists up, turned back to the woman, her face begging. “Come back. Please, please come back with me.” Tears spilled down her face, agony and heartbreak warped her features, and all Raven wanted to do was take her into her arms and tell her that everything would be okay, that it was going to work out.

But she couldn’t do that and it destroyed her.

Raven stepped towards her girlfriend, wrapped her arms around her loosely in case she wanted to pull away again. “Octavia, I can’t.” She whispered into her neck.

“Goddamn it. _Goddamn it!_ ” Octavia shook in her girlfriend’s arms, held Raven tighter than she ever had before. She feared that if she let her go she’d never hold her again. She was right.

“I love you, Octavia.” Raven said after a few moments.

She pulled away from the dark haired woman, held her at arm’s length, shook her head violently. “Don’t say that. Don’t fucking say that.”

“I’m sorry.” She offered weakly.

Octavia tried to be pissed at her, tried to give her the dirtiest look she could muster, but she was too broken to be angry. She gave a little smile and said, “You weren’t going to tell me about this.”

“Because I knew you would have stopped me.”

“Damn right I would have stopped you!” She exclaimed, grabbing Raven into another hug. “I can’t believe no one else did.” She sobbed into her hair.

Raven gave a pitiful shrug against her. “They knew it wouldn’t work.” They _had_ tried to stop her. Oh god, they had. Bellamy and Clarke argued with her for hours about it. Monty and Harper begged her not to. Abby and Kane even joined in with the disapproval. The only one who didn’t argue, the only one who just stared at her and gave a tiny nod, the only one who _really_ understood was Miller, and she silently thanked him for that afterwards with a hug.

“Guys,” Jasper called from in front of the wide window. “Hate to cut this short but more of those men are coming.”

“You have to go.” Raven grabbed Octavia’s face and pulled her into a deep goodbye kiss. “Can you make it back to the portal in five minutes?”

She gave a reluctant nod, kissed Raven again. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Raven choked through tears. Then she pushed Octavia away before she changed her mind.

Octavia started towards the door, keeping her eyes on Raven the whole time. “Octavia,” Lexa said as approached her at the door.

“What?” She asked with a tiny glare.

Lexa’s hard features grew soft and for the first time Raven felt sorry for her. “Could you…please tell Clarke that I’m sorry…and that I love her?”

Octavia nodded, took a few more steps out of the room, eyes still on her girlfriend.

“And could you tell Monty the same thing for me?” Jasper called.

Octavia nodded again, repeated ‘I love you’ several more times. Tears spilled out of both of their eyes, and with one final look, she turned and exited the room. Anya followed after her to help fight off the men as she ran back to the portal.

Raven shut her eyes, counted through her heart breaking, took several deep breaths to dull the pain, though it didn’t work, then she bent back down to the machine and began cutting and splicing more wires.

“All I have to do is press the button.” She said five minutes later. She looked up at Lexa and Jasper, gulped down her fear.

Lexa gave a curt nod, came up beside the woman and placed a hand on her shoulder. This time she didn’t flinch away. “You have done well, _Reivon kom Skaikru._ ” She said quietly, proudly.

“May we meet again.” Jasper murmured, bending down next to Raven and wrapping an arm around her waist.

Raven took a deep breath, hoped that Octavia made it out. _“Ai gonplei ste odon.”_

And she pressed the button.

**Author's Note:**

> ....sorry? :)


End file.
